Tag Archives: perimenopause

Getting older

absolutley sucks. No one tells you that peri menopause will hit you like a sack of potatoes. That it will take away all your self confidence and self belief. That hitting it below the ‘magical’ age of 45 means the doctors will say you are ‘too young’ and dismiss your symptoms as panic attacks, urine infections and anxiety and try to medicate you accordingly. That eventually you will have to pay for a private doctor to listen to you, to (almost*) respect you and to finally give you hrt. *apparently, since I’m not in a relationship, it doesn’t matter that my libido has also fallen off a cliff….

On reflection, things have not been right for a while, but the impact of the lockdowns meant that certain symptoms got missed or dissmissed. It was only after having Covid in March that things got really bad. Foul moods, panic attacks, lack of enjoyment of anything, unable to eat/swallow, night sweats, hair falling out, loss of words…. There is currently no medical proof, but from searching online it does appear to be more than a coincidence that my symptoms got worse after having covid. It’s still trial and error with the HRT, but there have been some initial improvements.

The only part of me that is not improving is my eating. First I had a panic attack where I felt I was choking, which made me wary of food. Then I stopped being able to eat food in company – probably because people at work were asking the same (sressful) questions on repeat and finally I stopped being able to swallow pretty much anything. I’ve lost half a stone in the past two months, and several more in the months before that. I’ve seen 8 doctors, due to the way my surgey works, been put on medication, had massively intrusive investigations, taken off medication, tried hypnotherapy having been told there was nothing wrong physically…. only to finally end up at a Speech and Language therapist who listened, took me seriously, put me back on medication and restricted my diet even more. At least I know I’m not going crazy. That these symptoms are not ‘just’ anxiety. I’m not enjoying hte meds or the diet, but I’m hopeful that in good time I should make it better. I also wonder, since part of the symptoms are inflamation, if Covid kicked this up a notch as well, since it appears to be a long term underlying condition that I didn’t even know I had.



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